Dark Places

Have you ever been in a dark place? A year ago exactly I suffered for months with the worst anxiety I have ever had. Life became debilitating and even stepping out of my door seemed like a feat. I was reminded of the "dark place" I was in when I opened my bible to Psalm 91 this morning. I had completely forgetten how God had taken me from the state I was in and restored me. How could I forget this?
As humans, it is natural to not want to think about the hard places we have been in. I firmly believe that God wanted to remind me of his faithfulness to never leave or forsake me. During the time I was suffering from anxiety I read Psalm 91 daily. I would read it slowly outloud so the words would sink in. I prayed all day long, usually outloud, even if I was walking to class...I didn't care. I had people praying for me, aunts, my mom, and tons of friends. I had faith that God was going to bring me through. The story does have a happy ending, I was able to see a doctor and get on the right medication the same day (unheard of, right?). It was still a long road after that, but each day it got better.
Why is it that God has to bring us to such dark places in order to have faith the size of an elephant? Why do we need to be dispaired to understand that God will bring us through and answer our prayers? I was extremely humbled by this today and realized that God answers the faintest cry. He cares about each small detail of our lives, not just the big ones.
What will you have faith to seek God for today?

-Hannah

To read Psalm 91:

http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%2091&version=NIV

Worship verses Performance

In the last year I've been really inspired by other people's blogs and thought that it would be a good place to put down some of my own thoughts, so I don't forget! Also, I hope that it blesses those who read it. So here goes nothing!

It is the beginning of my LAST semester of college. This is hard to believe, I always knew I would graduate college, but for some reason was never able to picture the ending. Now it is here and it is more stressful than I ever imagined. Lately it has felt like all this stress has been taking over my brain and I am in survival mode instead of being able to thrive. I've had so many things that I've been wanting to work on between me and God lately, but it just hasn't happened because I have been so consumed with school and work.This has been bothering me tremendously lately and I have been thinking and praying about it a lot. For some reason everything that I had been reading in the bible and in my devotional have been somewhat processed in my head but definitely did not make it to my heart. It was so stressful trying to make changes on my own, even when I knew that was not possible with the kinds of things I was struggling with. I knew that I needed to ask for God's help and I had, but I would simply ask God for self control, or patience, or peace, instead of looking to the root of all those things.

Today I realized something that God taught me a long time ago that I had forgotten. (funny how that happens...) The core of every pure intention is Jesus. It made me realize that yes, I do love God, and yes I do want to honor him with my actions and words, but I had been failing to do that. Lately I had been praying to stop certain behaviors and not having the heart behind it to worship God with my actions or thoughts, but simply to feel like I was pleasing God and earning his grace. Which is never true, we can not earn grace, and we need to be careful to not perform for God, rather than worship him with our actions.

In Ephesians 2:8-9 it says " God saved you by his grace when you believed. And you can’t take credit for this; it is a gift from God. ⁹ Salvation is not a reward for the good things we have done, so none of us can boast about it."

Just Thought I would share somethings God is teaching me! Hope it encourages you as well. Look to God FIRST and all else will be put into place.

Keep seeking:)

-Hannah

Proverbs 3:5